5 Things I’ve Learned From Dating a French Chef 

Every time someone discovers I’m dating a chef, I usually get similar reactions: “Wow, you’re so lucky, you must eat so well.” And while that’s true (I do eat very well), my experience goes further than posting a pretty food photo on Instagram. Dating a chef, especially a French one, comes with lessons that have changed the way I eat, shop, and even think about food.

After five years in Paris with my French chef boyfriend (let’s call him FCB), here are a few things I’ve learned. (Lessons you definitely won’t find on Emily in Paris).

How to Appreciate Each Season

Growing up in California, everything felt “in season.” Strawberries in December? Tomatoes in February? No problem. Which is why my first winter in Paris was harsh. It was not just the colder weather and grey skies, but the sudden extinction of my favorite fruits and vegetables.

That’s when FCB reminded me: “France isn’t California. We have actual seasons.”

In the first 6 months, I couldn’t accept the thought of waiting months and months for my favorite season, like spring or summer, to come back around. But little by little, eating seasonally became less of a restriction and more of a pleasure. Each new season brought something to be excited for, like sweet pears in January, fresh figs in July, and nutty squash in October. 

Eating locally and seasonally not only tasted better, but also felt more intentional. I was surprised by the number of recipes FCB could make with leeks, potatoes, and Brussels sprouts. Not only is it much tastier, but it’s also better for the environment. Eating seasonally also meant I would test the waters with new foods. I tried new things like salsify, a root vegetable, or a sunchoke, which I argue is tastier than a potato.

How to Choose a Restaurant 

As someone who always loves a good home-cooked meal, eating out was something I reserved for special occasions, but in Paris, I quickly learned that dining out isn’t just a treat; it’s a way of life.

With so many restaurants to choose from, I often felt overwhelmed about where to go. That’s when FCB shared a few tips that saved me from falling into mediocre tourist traps (which, as an American new to Paris, was very helpful).

Tip #1: Look closely at the size of the menu. If there are 20 or 30 different dishes listed, many of them are likely frozen or of poor quality. As FCB says, quality always wins over quantity.

Tip #2: Read the ingredients on each dish. Are there out-of-season vegetables or fruits? Is the same menu laminated and plastered outside year-round? If so, it’s probably not changing with the seasons. I prefer restaurants with a chalkboard menu, because there’s a better chance that each dish is thoughtfully chosen for the week or day. 

How to Cook What’s in Your Fridge

Ever since we upgraded from a mini fridge to a full-size one, life has become 10x more tasty. However, I noticed that FCB and I did not see things inside the fridge the same way. Whenever I looked inside, I saw ingredients that didn’t mesh well together, or that I didn’t even know how to cut or cook. Take leeks, for example; I had no clue how to prepare this vegetable, it was truly a mystery to me. 

One thing I admire about FCB is his ability to create a salad, sandwich, pasta, or tartine with any ingredients in the fridge. I’ve never noticed how easy it was to make such tasty things without setting foot in a grocery store and making a list.

Whether it was creating a salad with crispy croutons made from a day-old baguette with lemon and olive oil dressing, or a sardine tartine with a leftover pesto sauce from the day before, these little creative meals, made “à la minute,” taught me to piece together different foods and also create less waste. It was like a puzzle coming together, and a skill that I love trying to improve.

The ritual of sitting down for a meal was never particularly special until I moved to Paris.

FCB told me there’s almost a science to the way the French share a meal. A dinner can last anywhere from one to three hours, depending on the occasion. And the most important part? Every meal is meant to be enjoyed with someone you care about. That was a shift for me. I had always eaten when I was hungry, not necessarily as a way to share conversation or connection. FCB would actually get upset if I had started eating without him, or if I took some bites before he got to the dinner table.

By bringing me here, he wanted to show me how different shopping in Paris is compared to Trader Joe’s back home. On rue du Nil, I could talk directly with the cheesemonger, choose my cheese, and even learn about where it came from.

That seemingly small experience completely shifted my perspective on how I wanted to shop. Instead of buying pre-packaged goods, I suddenly had access to crème crue from a small producer in Normandie, or fresh mozzarella made just down the street in Paris. It made shopping feel less like a chore and more like a connection.